Relatives & Foster Care

There are may quirks about foster care.  There are a ton of rules. Most of them make sense and others just don't. One of the quirky rules that I find in foster care deals with photos.   To me, it would see that children's photos could be posted as long as you don't bring to attention that the child is in foster care.  In my trainings, it was explained to me that the reason we cannot post photos or have photos in media is for the biological parents confidentiality. 

For instance, let's say a child is on a school trip and a news reporter snaps a photo for an article.  There are no names, but you can identify the child as their face is showing.  So a relative sees this photo in the newspaper and calls the birth family. Perhaps this child was with a different school than they previously attended.  So the relative is wondering if the child changed schools.  Well, the biological parents rights were just violated because it should be revealed that they are no longer with their birth family. 

I know, it kind of makes sense, but kind of does not.

So for our family, it is really hard. These kiddos have been living with us for nearly 3 years.  I want to share my live with friends and family.  These kiddos are a HUGE part of my every day life.  I however, cannot share their names or photos on Face Book. So I have nicknames that those around me know. In some ways, the kiddos almost have to be invisible, and that is a shame. We cannot really send out those photo cards that have a picture of our entire family on them for the holidays as it could be considered disrespectful to the biological family. (Not to mention, what if somewhere our circle of friends/family cross and someone sees it.)

For relatives, it is much the same. Most of them know the drill and are cautious because we've explained the rules.  For "Grandma", she can post photos and comments about her two other biological grandchildren.  I know if she was given the opportunity, my three kiddos would be all plastered on her Face Book page too. I know she is so proud of all of her grandchildren. She loves all of them equally and is such a wonderful grandmother.

But these rules can sting a little. It hurts because people then don't always see that "Grandma" has 3 other grandchildren and make comments without understanding. (Especially when your children are standing right there.) I know comments may not be intended to be malicious or hurtful.  It simply makes me wish more for the day when these kiddos may FINALLY be adopted and officially be ours.

When that day comes -- Watch out!  There will be LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of photos to share with people. I have years of photos to post that I've had to keep from sharing.

For those of you who have had to follow the posting rules for my kiddos -- Your AWESOME!  I've appreciated it and I hope that someday soon -- You'll be able to post photos of my kiddos too.