The hole in the wall

Anger can be good and it can be bad. Mostly it's bad.

My son recently seems to have discovered anger.  Because of his past experiences and living conditions, he was very timid and mild for many of his developmental years.  Between his momma and his sisters, he never was really ever given the opportunity to have an opinion of his own or really have any emotion other than compliance.

When he arrived here at the age of 5 years old, he wouldn't even answer a question without looking to his dominant twin sister for approval.  He would not form many thoughts on his own without someone telling him what the answer should/could be.  Then we split him from his twin sister in school. We put him in his own activities. He began forming interests and friendships on his own.  In many ways, he became his own person. 

It's been super cool to see him becoming an individual.

Now, that he is comfortable and safe... he's found the emotion -- ANGER.  He gets angry and upset super easily right now.  Huffing and puffing.  Screaming and shouting.  Stomping. Banging. Pouting. Throwing things. Trying to run away. Pulling and scratching.  Even though he is almost eight, he acts more like a toddler having a temper tantrum.  In many ways, I feel like I'm going through terrible 2's.  There is no accountability of his own actions, no accepting of doing something wrong. There is only anger.

We are hopeful that this is a phase and that he will begin to learn to calm himself down. We want him experience some anger, because it's a normal emotion. It's just now he needs to learn to deal with anger in a more controlled way.  Using techniques that he has learned, like counting to 10, doing something physical, using words to state why your angry.  It will come with time and practice. 

If not, I seem to picture that someday when he is bigger... that he will put a hole in one of the walls.  It will be ok though, it's just a wall and we will always love him no matter what.