Growing Pains

My oldest daughter, 11 years old, has been on a quest for some time to gain more freedom.  To her, that looks like us allowing her to go to the local skating rink without adult supervision with her friends. She wants to go weekly with her friends that are already going without their parents.

Now, my daughter is a good girl. She often makes good choices. For instance, just this week when several of the 5th graders in her school organized an impromptu "PJ Day", she didn't go along with it and try and wear her pj's.  Mostly cause she knew that I wouldn't have let her out of the house like that without having something from the school saying it was PJ day.  Regardless, she still made an excellent decision and went against her peers to do the right thing.  She also has been great at coming to talk to me about other issues with peers or when she does have a situation that she needs advice for.  All excellent and responsible things.  I do trust her and I believe she is a good girl.  I just don't know if I'm ready to trust the outside world with her. The shady people that may be at the skating rink. The workers who really aren't watching out for her.

I asked her what reasons she could give me for allowing her to go. Here is what she came up with:

1. There are friends that are there that care about me.
2. I also think you should practice cutting me a little slack every one in a while.
3. I'm being responsible enough / I think.
4. I'm trying my very best to have a wonderful beautiful attitude that is contagious.
5. Question: Why isn't that fabulous enough for you? I'm not just yours and you've got to know that NOW! Share me. There is only one [Peaches]. DO YOU MIND!

I know it's a matter of time before she gets to go. I know that she is becoming her own person. That person is looking more wonderful each and every day. I am proud of her decisions. I am proud of many of her choices.

Letting go doesn't just happen at age 18.  It's a process that begins earlier than that. Slowly. I will trust that I've done my part to instill good values and morals in her. I will trust that God is there to protect her. I will trust that she knows that I'm not there to make her decisions, but I'm there to celebrate her successes and to give her a softer place to land when things don't turn out. I will love her always.