The Grinch Apologizes...

I feel like I have just been a Grinch these past few weeks. My life seems to be an onslaught of never ending stress. I know that many people feel the stress of the holiday season and can continue on with even a smile on their face. I have been so stressed out from "Fostercare Land". Don't let the name fool you, it isn't some magical place that has sunshine all the time!

I've been dealing with a little princess who just cannot seem to pull herself together at school. She doesn't intend to be naughty. She just has so much emotional turmoil that she just doesn't know how to handle it. I've been at my wits end trying to find a way that I can encourage her to even have one good day and even trying for two in a row seems like a huge challenge. I feel so discouraged everyday when I pick her up from school and it's yet another awful day. I just want to love and protect her. I don't want to see her suffer the negative consequences. I want only good things for her and it pains me to see her so unhappy.

Just when I think she might have a good day, the little man falls apart. I feel like I should just begin to walk around carrying a shovel and broom. I could just continue to sweep all the broken pieces up. The thing is, I'm not just done there... I have to put all the pieces back together again.

It's a constant teaching process. Even the simple things takes many lessons for them to understand. I have had to start at square one where most children learned some of these fundamentals. Because I am "acting" as their parent and love them so much, it's so hard. I'm stressed and broken.

I want things to be fair for them. I want them to be loved and accepted. I want people to see through their behaviors to see the good in them... to see that the bad is just how they know how to deal with the ugly in their life. I want them to be treated like all the other kids. I want them to be loved as if they were my own children.

So despite my average holiday stress and my "Fostercare Land" rollercoasters... I, the Grinch, apologizes for blogging about the unfairness of my children. They are blessed to have the many good people in their life. I am blessed to have the support and love of many friends and family. I am thankful for my mother, my step-mother and my mother-in-law. All of these wonderful women have shown me unconditional love and patience. I hope that I can put off my Grinch and remember the important lessons that they have taught me.