Waiting

It was one of those mornings where I could have let the whole family sleep in today. I was however prompted out of bed and managed to get everyone to church (on time even!). I remember seeing the pastor's email about the Saul/Paul series and that one of the topics would be on waiting. Turns out, today is that day.

I am not a person who likes to wait. Truth be told, I know that I am impatient. I also know the rewards of being patient. My husband and I waited 7 years to have family (to the month). It took us on a journey that we never even dreamed of when we told each other "I Do". At first, we thought the waiting was normal. Then it got longer and longer. We tried a few infertility treatments and then "life happened". So things went on hold again until we could try again. I see how God was working in our lives those 7 years. Pushing us, nudging us.

We considered adoption but felt it was too expensive. We looked into special needs adoption, believing it to be the only option. I also had found a girl named "Faith" that sounded like she could have blended into our family, which gave me hope that this could be where we needed to head. My loving husband and I went to the informational meeting and learned that most of the children came from foster care. Some where labeled special needs because of being part of a sibling group. I find it ironic that the day we went to this "meeting" was the same day that I started my miscarriage (which I didn't know about until a month later, as I was clueless that I was even or could be pregnant). I received a note a week or so after the meeting from the social worker saying "May God bless your journey". I thought it was weird that a "government social worker" would write "GOD" on a note.

All of this waiting. Finally, we checked into foster care. Before we knew it, the licensing worker was rushing us to fill out our paperwork and we had our license. And then... more waiting...

As many of you know, in November 2009, we received our first placements. We were overwelmed by God's faithfulness that we were blessed with twin 5-year-olds. It was Thanksgiving 2002 that we wanted to start our family, and Thanksgiving 2009 that we could celebrate the beginnings of our family. After 4 1/2 months, their older sister joined us to.

God has given me my hearts desire. Three beautiful children. The opportunity to stay at home and spend time with them instead working in a career. Things that I didn't believe that I would ever have.

Now the waiting continues. Will they be returned to their birth family? Will we be their forever home?

I would love nothing more than to have the answer to my questions.

I was glad to be reminded of some wonderful things at church today.

• We will all have times in our life that we are caught in a waiting period.
• God will test us through our waiting. For me that means trusting Him. I know that He loves these children even more than I love them. His promises to work for good not only applies to me, but to them. They are HIS children. Truly, they are only mine "on loan".
• I don't have to waste away to waiting. I forget sometimes that I am here to just love on these children for whatever time I have with them. I don't want to waste a moment in worry or fretting when I can be loving on them. 

Today was a good reminder for me... God is working. God is active.

"'For I know the plans for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11