Almost 3,270 days

Today is just another day. But today is also my 3,270th day of waiting to have my children to call my own. Yes, I know I'm a crazy number person. But back in 2002, after Thanksgiving Diner, Peter and I finally agreed that it was time to start our family.  So you take those nine years and multiple by 365 and add in two days for leap years and on November 28th (9 years later), we will have been waiting exactly 3,287 days.

Guess what, I'm still waiting. You would think that with all this practice in waiting that I would be a pro at it. Truth is, I am not. I have gotten better about it, but I still have my rough spots. At first it was easy to wait. There is truth in that it might not happen right away. Then a year or two goes by and you begin to wonder if it will ever happen. Another year or two goes by and you start trying other ways... getting doctors involved and getting costly procedures done.  Then the next couple years go by and you begin a "new plan".

Peter and I knew that we would not be able to afford many of the "plan b" alternatives. IVF is very costly and not always successful. Really at that point, I doubt that I would have been able to bear another negative pregnancy test. International adoption and domestic adoptions are also very pricey. Also, I care for the idea of domestic adoption cause it felt like a birth mother has to pick us. It begins to feel like a popularity contest.  So we wondered how we would ever reach our dream of having a family.

The Lord nudged and prodded me. He pushed us towards special needs adoptions. That then led us down the path of becoming foster parents. I held onto the dream that I would hold a baby. That wasn't what happened. Nearly two years ago, we decided we would take a set of twins who were five years old. Truly I think I said yes out of desperation. I didn't even stop to think about what having school aged children in my house would entail. I might have even thought (to myself) if we said "no", that no other opportunities would be given to us. God knew what He was doing when He choose these kiddos for us. It is nearly impossible for me to think about what might have been had my original dream come true. I love them so much and mean the world to me.

I would love them to be mine forever. How couldn't I? Especially after sharing these past two years together? They have taught me so much and have changed me.  I am much more courageous especially when it comes to them. I found a way to be goofy again and find a lightness in life.

To be mine... that means we still continue to wait.  My 3,287th day will come and go (my 9th anniversary of waiting). Who knows, maybe on 3,653rd day or a decade of waiting... my prayers will be fully answered.