Lately, I've enjoyed these last few weeks. It's been for the most part, very calm. For the past two weeks, it has felt like we were a "normal" family. There have been no visits, or call for visits. There have been no caseworkers or special meetings to attend. There even hasn't been a court hearing to appear at.
It's just been us (the hubby and me with the three kiddos). It's been our routines with our own scheduled activities. The kiddos have spent the past two weeks being kids. They have enjoying several various play dates with friends. They have been enjoying their new playroom. They also found time for playing video games and other all the other things that kids do when home. We even had time for a family movie night again. It's been busy, but it's been calm and relaxing.
In some ways, it's been a little taste of what could be. But that's exactly the problem. What could be...
There is no crystal ball in foster care land. No one can predict the out come. If you try, it will make you look like the fool. I simply find that if I just over estimate the time to get anything accomplished in the system, well... I'm happy if it manages to come sooner.
The children have been here a long time. It will be nearly two years, this Thanksgiving. We all long for the waiting to be over. We are all fatigued. My heart aches for these children. They hope and long for change in their mother. No matter what I can give them, or what opportunities that I provide them, or even that I love them so much, it's their mother they will always long for.
It seems that soon, after many months of not seeing their mother, they could again be face to face. It brings up so much emotion for them. Hopes and fears. What-if's and happiness. A relief that everyone is safe and doing ok. There is also a fear of losing something you love.
And then the storm will follow them back here. A place of safety and refugee where they attempt to sort out all those very adult feelings. This is the last week of calm before we enter the storm. Perhaps it will do like the rest of the weather and dissipate before then. Maybe it might go in a different direction. Perhaps the storm won't be a big deal as predicted.
Dear Lord, You are the Father of these children. I have no"rights" to them. I am blessed by the honor of taking care of them for however long You determine. Lord, I know Your will be done. I know Your promises to work for their good as well as for Peter and me. Protect their hearts and hold them in Your loving arms, especially these upcoming few weeks. May they know they are loved and wanted always. Amen.
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