The past month or so, I've been pretty much avoiding blogging. I've had a lot of things on my mind. My family is at the top of the heap. With the craziness of what we call "normal" life, I just do not have the energy or will to deal with some other things. One of those things, have been some friendships.
I don't believe that I have ever been great at friendships. I would probably say that I tend to keep a few close friends and many acquaintances. The one true friend that I have been able to remain close to in the past decade is my husband. We can talk about anything and understand each other. He really is my best friend. He has my back always. Loves me. Always. He is my other half, truly.
There are friends that come and go in life. For instance, co-workers. I've had several great co-workers over the years. We used to go out and have lots of fun. One of my favorite co-workers and I used to play softball in the summer together. It was so much fun. But as that goes, once you move on to another job.... well the friendships tend to move on too.
I have many great memories with friends:
- Finding out what twins were in the first grade
- Sleepovers (too many to count!)
- Spirit Days in High School
- Picnics in the park
- Prom (my junior year was much better!)
- Roommates
- Game Nights
- Comedy Nights (Yes, a giggling lawn mower)
- Nerf Guns in hotel rooms...
- Pizza and a movie
- Endless conversations over coffee...
"A loyal friend is like a safe shelter; find one, and you have found a treasure." ~ Sirach
The one thing that I find the hardest, is to find a TRUE loyal friend. I find myself always waiting for the shoe to drop. The back stabbing that I'm so used to. It doesn't seem to matter just how many years are invested in this friendship... I can't help but wonder if I'll sabotage the "real" thing if I find it.
Even recently, I have felt the knife enter my heart through such a disappointment of a friendship. I don't know where the break down happen. It caught me off guard. Maybe I just put more value into the relationship. Maybe life will take you on such a different path than mine. All I do know, is that I'm left wondering what happened. I have no courage left to call and ask.
Here is just a little clip that makes me think of my special friend. I miss you. I just don't know how to tell you.
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