After waiting 7 years, we got a taste of a miracle. Twins. Beautiful twins. We didn't know if they would become ours. We just knew that we could love them for as long as they were ours and even beyond. Then 5 months later, we had the entire sibling group under one roof. Things shifted and another little miracle happen when our licensing county could change our license so they could all be together.
Since then, it's been a lot of waiting to see what would happen. Ups and Downs, more than I can count. With over a half dozen case worker changes we have still managed to hang in there. I think when you become a foster parent, you should take the same oath that you do in marriage... Maybe it would look something like this...
I take these children, to have and to hold, from this day forward (or until you decide a change of placement), It will be for better or worse, for multiple changes in caseworkers, judges and visitation workers, in sickness and in health, throughout the countless medical and therapy appointments, through the sleepless nights and the pure and innocent moments of joy, and for all many tantrums that will surely occur and broken objects and for those precious moments where you can see in their eyes that they feel safe and cared for.
We have also waited through accusations, broken promises, lies, and much, much more.
Being a foster parent is a crazy ride. Nothing can really prepare you for it. Even talking to others won't give you a full picture. Everyone has their own journey. Everyone has something different they "want" out of the situation. For some foster parents, they just want to be a comfortable landing place until the kiddos can go home or with other family. Some foster parents sadly do it for extra income (which really -- there isn't money in being a foster parent). Others want to increase their family size. They "want" does certainly affect the attitudes of being a foster parent.
I've digressed now. Back to my jealously. I guess what has been difficult for me, is waiting my turn. Waiting for our family to be official and not having to have all these "extra" people in our lives. Waiting... while watching other people on roads to adoption have a speedier time then us. Watching them being blessed with miracles while we just kept waiting. I've even joked about ... anyone else need to adopt? Hurry up and sign up because it's bound to happen before us!
Yet, it's all in God's timing. It's all happening for some reason that I cannot see. It could be that my oldest needed to be a teenager for some apparent reason. Maybe to make sure that I am crazy for these kiddos and slightly out of my mind to adopt a teenager. Maybe so that she always realizes that I loved her so much to adopt her as a teenager... or maybe some other reason all completely. It could be so that the kids realize just how much people considered the situation. The number of chances they tried to give their mother... I may never know. But I know it's good.
We recently went on vacation. Before we left, the DA called to say that We. Won. The. Appeals. Those maybe the best words I have heard in awhile. It was another miracle. (So was winning the TPR in the first case). Now, we hold our breath for one final step. If nothing else is done, the kiddos become adoptable.
Typically, it takes about 60 days from the kiddos to be adopted from the day they become "adoptable" due to the lengthy paperwork that is required for adoption. However, our next miracle might lie in the fact that our worker is VERY pregnant. She is hoping to speed up things and will try to get an adoption date prior to her due date.
How might August sound? Well, I'm not willing to hold my breathe over it, but it certainly be the miracle that I'm hoping for. And if we still wait, well... I'm confident that it will be for our good even if I can't see the reason.
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~Hebrews 11:1
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