Dance

"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance "

Nothing is for sure in foster care. It can break the weak. It wounds even the strong of heart. As my friend put it, "Foster parents don't get to fix anything".  I prefer to say that it is parenting with an arm tied behind your back. You don't get to make any of the decisions. You can't just go in to a situation to make it better for the children. You can say your piece, but it often falls on death ears by a system that isn't programmed to put the children's interests and concerns first. It is heart breaking. It is painful. It can even leave you bitter and resentful.

It's good friends and a God who is bigger than the "system" that gives me hope to continue. It's the love for the children that I have shared my life with for nearly 2 years. It's a supportive husband that stays awake until 2:30am trying in vain to help me search for a solution. That is the fuel that keeps me going.

With the children, it's the light in their eyes. It's the laughter and the giggles that come from enjoying life and not being worried. It's watching them grow independent. It's watching them experience something for the first time. It's the blessing that they have been in my life. It's how they have made me a better person. They have made me want to do things I wouldn't normally do... come out of my shell and be goofy again without thinking about what others think.  They helped me to laugh at myself and be silly again. They helped give me wings.

I don't have to have a judge or anyone tell me that they are my children. It could be that they will never be my children legally. Things could change (because the one thing in foster care that is certain is that nothing is certain!). But for the time that God has placed them in my home, even if its only 2 years or 20 years... They were mine and I was their's.

I hope that in their hearts they will always keep the hopes and dreams that I have for them. They can become great people. They have warm hearts. They are smart and they are beautiful. I hope that they take risks and work hard. I hope they are always kind and gentle and willing to help someone. I hope they love freely and don't hold back. I hope they hold on to their values. I hope they find and keep a close relationship with their Heavenly Father who loves so tenderly.

I hope they never give up their dance. Their carefree spirits of happiness and joy. I hope that the weight of this world would not keep them from being happy. They deserve to be happy.