The Next Yes...

Our God is a God who pursues us. He wants us. Everyone one of us.  There isn't anything in our past that could make us not worthy for Him.  He gives us second chances. Third chances.  Fourth chances.  And many many more chances than we deserve.  He loves us. And He meets us with the most awesome opportunities if we would only just say, "yes".

God has often met me at crossroads with opportunities to follow Him.  When I say "Yes", it turns out better than I could have imagined.  I often believe that things turn out better because He is much more creative then me.  (Just look at the platypus!) 

He gave me the chance to reconnect with my husband after almost a two-year break up.  Now we have been married for 12 years.  (Much longer than my parents ever were married).

I struggled with infertility and depression for many years.  I couldn't grasp why I had such a desire for a family and why it seemed like everyone around me could start their families.  We started down expensive pathways to try and have our family, but having a bad back and severe financial problems prevented us from continuing on.

We went bankrupt. God saw us through it and helped us get a plan where we can repay all of our loans and dept.

Feeling crushed and defeated, God lead us to look into special needs adoption. We had always pictured having 2 or 3 children.  So special needs adoption really seemed to fit as we could adopt a sibling group.  God nudged my heart and I read about a girl in foster care named Faith who needed a home.  When I read about how she was so much like my hubby and I... well,  I was able to picture having an older child living with us and how exciting it could be.  Did you notice her name was Faith?  =)  We didn't adopt Faith, but through a lot of faith in God, we became foster parents.  We choose to say "yes" to God's plan for our family.  It was a matter of months before we became licensed foster parents. 

Then a decision to say "yes" to God and join the high school ministry lead to connections that I wouldn't have also had in the foster care world.  God used those connections to open our home to a Milwaukee County placement (because we had been licensed through Waukesha County), this is something that is not very typical.

On September 11, 2009 I posted on my Facebook account "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1).  How would I possibly know that was the day my children were coming into foster care? How could I possibly know that God's plan would be set into action that day?  (Of course this is a current revelation to me looking back at  my face book posts).  

A few months later, God blessed our family with five-year old twins. About five months after that, God moved more obstacles and we were able to have their older sister also move in with us. 

For almost four years, we navigated the foster care system.  All the time having to rely on God's strength and goodness.  We experienced six case worker changes.  We had double digit changes in visitation workers.  We have multiple missed visits, hundreds of therapy appointments, dozens of court hearings.  We even changed our licensing county.  We've had case  managers question we our multi-race home.  We've had case managers who let their personal bias get in the way of what their supervisors and agencies told them to do.  God had it all.  God held onto our family  and saw us through to adoption day.  It took a lot of faith to continue on each and every day.

It's been more than two months since our adoption day.  We had a big celebration, followed by a time of letting "the dust settle".  Now we ask, what is next?

The twins struggled in school with their trauma backgrounds and their history of neglect.  They were behind.  They continued to have a difficult time making gains and getting caught up. We pulled them out of brick and mortar schools and put them into virtual school. The pacing we faced was not leading our family to peace. Through a "chance encounter" after last's months Encounter, God lead me to the gym for a cookie.  (Yes, He knew I would go for a cookie).  He placed several mommas in the gym that just spoke to my heart.  It was confirmation to me that God wanted my children to be in traditional home school.  That would give them the time to grow and time to learn.  It would give us time to bond. Most importantly more time to spend in His word.  Often, I think I need that more than the kiddos, but it is great for all of us all around.   

It was a huge decision to say yes.  Partly because if I have to give it all to God.  I could stress and be anxious that I am placing a burden or responsibility of their learning on my shoulder or I can trust God that He will have them learn what they need, when they need to.  Perhaps a little more than math facts and spelling words, my kiddos need to know what love is more?  They formed opinions about that before they came to us.  Ideas that aren't true to what love really ought to be.  Knowing they have parents to love them and care for them is one thing... but we can still fail.  God will never fail them and He will not fail me.

Another decision to say yes is to seek CHRISTIAN counseling for my children.  We have seen that more than anything our oldest daughter needs to learn how to accept love.  Love from God. Love from others.  

I have also made the decision to return to serving.  There is a lot of joy in serving.  From being encouraged by other Christians, to helping God's kingdom grow. 

I'm looking forward to where these next "yes"es of mine will take me. I know that it will require that I have faith to accomplish the good works that He has prepared for me.


For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  -Jeremiah 29:11